Secularize This

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Right Answer

Here in the next few days the world population is going to reach the 7,000,000,000 mark, and the majority of that population being in under-developed nations gaining aid from developed nations such as the United States of America and those in Western Europe.  I have come up with a solution motivated by the concepts of the Tea Party movement.  This solution will 100% cut down on government spending, protect the Second Amendment rights to bear arms and could ultimately allow them to create a Christian World Order.

Hunters hunt wild animals for sport on the reason to control population and to prevent disease outbreaks to avoid suffering.  In 2009 781,000 people died of malaria, most of them children in Africa.  This is a disease that causes suffering in many populations that are not properly funded.  Every year 15,000,000 children die from not having access to basic sustenance for nutrition.  As one of the most powerful nations in the world we have the capability to resolve these situations to avoid suffering.  I'm not talking about government handouts because that is too liberal, and plus, the majority of these cases are overseas, we don't even care about the starving children we have in our own country.

My proposal is to allow every Tea Partier, card carrying member of the NRA and any U.S. citizen that owns a registered firearm to travel overseas and have an open season on the human population of the world.  This will alleviate suffering while protecting the Second Amendment rights of those that matter the most, the job creators.  This will also cut back on federal spending because there will be less funding going overseas for development.  Anglo-Americans have a history of imposing their will on others, ask any Native American who's ancestors were fortunate enough not to contract small pox from blankets.  The Tea Party can even pitch this as a continuation on the War on Terror saying that these people threaten the American way of life, the "right" way of life.  Stocks of Smith & Wesson will sky rocket along with Capitol One because of all the frequent flyer miles that will be cashed in for these travels, so it is a win/win scenario for everybody that matters.

I urge you to get creative with these.  Bring back the safari style hunt in Africa.  Drive around in your gas-guzzling Land Rovers that get 2 miles to the gallon.  Rent an elephant to roam the streets in Bombay as you bring on the wrath of Jesus on the heathenish Hindus of India.  Hire a rickshaw driver to run through the streets of Bangkok as you play your own real-life Grand Theft Auto.  Remember, you're doing the world a favor, the world that matters.  You're actions will be for the (I can't say greater good because that will seem socialist) the benefit of all.  It will eliminate suffering and control population, especially for those that do not abstain from sexual intercourse that continue to add to the world population putting more of a burden on society.  You don't deserve for your hard earned money going into medical research to develop a cure for malaria and have it obliterated from the Earth once and for all.  Once you build your summer home on the coast of Sierra Leone, there won't be anymore disease.  We will categorize any ailment into one general listing called "Perry", because if Jesus wanted us to have a remedy for malaria he would have made it for us in the Garden of Eden just like he did for polio, and Perry's answer is to pray everything away.

Now that all the non-believers and leaches of society have been cleared out, you will have plenty of land to claim in the name of the Christian United States of America, or CUSA (not to be mistaken for the collegiate Conference USA).  Now you will be able to have your own child born in what was once known as Kenya and one day become president.  We will be able to transgress our progress as a species back to the times of neanderthals, but this time living in isolation where it is every citizen for themselves.  You can setup alarms at the edges of your million acre plot to ensure that you do not get any invasions from rivals or freeloaders that survived the rapture trying to get a nibble to eat, because everyone has the equal right to thrive as long as they are already thriving.  Happy hunting and don't let them take that gun from your cold dead hands.

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